By Tracy Wright, The Arc of Maryland

The following is an excerpt from “Reflections from a Different Journey: What Adults with Disabilities Wish All Parents Knew” sharing Tracy’s perspective on what she wishes her parents had known about raising a child with a disability 30 years ago. Now an adult, Tracy lives in Rockville, MD with her son and her service dog, working at The Arc of Maryland and volunteering for other organizations helping people with intellectual and developmental disabilities.

Two things that my parents should have known while I was growing up are the importance of treating me like any other kid and how to talk openly about disabilities. If they had done that, I would not have spent so much time worrying that it was my fault that I was being treated differently. It also would have helped me to know that I was smart and could learn things, just in a different way.

When I was young, I went to a special education wing in my school. We were kept away from the regular population. It made it hard to know how to make friends and build relationships with people. This didn’t prepare me for the things that were going to be expected of me outside of the special education wing. If I would have been treated the same as other kids in the family and we talked about my disability, it would have helped me to think about my future. No one ever asked me “What do you want to be when you grow up?” My family members were afraid to talk about this because no one knew what my future could be.

Kids with disabilities are going to grow up. They need to think about a future and plan like anybody else. If we had been more open about my disability, maybe we could have talked about my future. We also might have looked for more options, rather than just where the “special” people went to live.

Remember, when you get caught up in the whole disability thing, enjoy all your children. Even try to enjoy the struggles—it will make you a better person. Disability does not have to be this bad thing that people cannot get past to enjoy and live life. You just might have to go about it in a little different way.

Want to learn about “Reflections from a Different Journey: What Adults with Disabilities Wish All Parents Knew”? (McGraw-Hill, 2004; DisABILITIESBOOKS, 2011). Visit www.disabilitiesbooks.com. A portion of sales benefits The Arc. When you order online, please enter “The Arc” into the Your Comments space at the end of the Payments page. To order by mail: send $31 to: DisABILITIESBOOKS, 44 Washington Street, #913, Brookline, MA 02445. Write The Arc on your check.